Anyway, it’s a been a week.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m getting sick of people not managing their data lists. We all know that email marketing became the ‘golden ticket’ a few years ago. “Hurrah” thousands of small businesses cried, ” look at how many people we can reach for little (or no) cost!”

(sure now the big thing is social media and, guess what, the problems are the same)

I got to thinking about this because I got a really annoying email in my inbox today. It was a pretty standard email. And it was a bulk email. They are looking for business and want to sell to me.

That’s not what irritated me. What really got my back up was the fact that I have un-subscribed from this list three times. Three times. I don’t want their emails. I don’t want their company. I don’t want their shitty service. But I don’t seem to have a choice in this.

That’s just poor marketing. First off you send me an email I didn’t ask for. Then you compound my annoyance by having a shitty list management system. So I’ve now clocked who this company is and, needless to say, I’ll have nothing good to say about them.

I do have a point. Email marketing can be a good way of reaching people. It can be a great way of keeping in touch with your current clients and customers, and it can be a great way of keeping your profile up with people you don’t see a lot. It really can.

Email can also be an effective way of reaching someone new. We recently ran a campaign with a client that used (as one of the steps) an email to cold prospects and we received a tremendous response. But that’s because we did it properly.

I don’t see the fundamentals ever changing. If something is relevant to me, I’ll be interested. If it’s not. I won’t. That’s all.

I’m going to flush some fish down the toilet and go play squash.

- jordan

I was having my lunch today when an email came into my company inbox (you know, the one we all set up with the info@ or office@ addresses) with the subject line “FAO Jordan”.

Hmm…guess I should read this one.

Oh how it was worth it. A helpful company (down south) decided to email me this text:

“Further to the information which I emailed through to you last week I do not seem to have received your response. I do appreciate that this area of specialism can be controversial and a little awkward to discuss, however it is real and it is happening every day.

We would like the opportunity to discuss the solutions against your private space being invaded. This can come in a variety of guises which include your car being bugged, your house or business premises being bugged. We have the most sophisticated electronic technology tools to find these devices and clear your mind.

Furthermore we also investigate fidelity, please note that this is a very sensitive area, however husbands and wives are faced with this issue on a daily basis. SBG simply establish a route to providing you with the peace of mind which allows your life to continue as before. Many of the cases which we undertake have a harmonious solution.

We act to maintain healthy relationships, give people and businesses peace of mind from espionage and many more services. We are delighted for our award winning status and we are delighted to receive our recent accolade for discovering a device which was publicly announced in the national press relating to a high profile professional footballer.

Please note that many people are suffering from listening devices, cheating partners and many more issues in life which we are positioned to work on putting right. Our services are cost effective and bring solutions without breaking the bank.

I would be delighted to receive you comments. If you would prefer talk to me privately then please call my direct line “

I’ve been a good boy and left out his email, company name and phone number.

Favourite bit:

- “I do not seem to have received your response” – oh well shit, I didn’t know I was obligated my man. So sorry to disappoint you!

I love the fact that the whole email reads in a quasi-threatening tone. It was put on an official looking document and everything. Why would you ever think I would respond to this? And if I did mistake this for something official and contact you, do you have any idea how annoyed I’d be at a sales call?

If you’re going to send out cold emails to businesses, do your best not to take the ‘fear’ route, OK?

-jordan

You need to have a big thing in pants to be capable for big things.

I admire the sentiment…if not the effectiveness of the email.

-jordan